WHAT ARE YOUR AMBITIONS FOR YOUR LIFE?
Art by Casper David Friedrich
There’s one question that’s asked of all of us when we are kids. Before we have any sense of the world around us or about ourselves. It’s asked so early on in life and so frequently that you feel like you need to have an answer. Drawing blanks is a big no-no, especially in an Asian household.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
For most of my childhood, the answer was “a doctor.” But you see, I have almost never been sure about what I want in life, but I’ve always been sure about what I don’t want. And at age 15, when having to choose a stream of study, I knew I didn’t want to pursue science. After eliminating science for my lack of interest and arts for my lack of any artistic flair, I decided to pursue commerce. A quick google search on careers in commerce revealed some fancy job titles and impressive salary numbers. Among them was the profession of Chartered Accountancy. So later in conversation when the question came up, “what do you want to be?” “A chartered accountant”, came the newest version of the answer.
I decided to do my bachelors and convinced myself that I’ll pursue CA after my graduation. But as the last year of college came around, the story I had told myself of what’ll I’ll be doing next, when I’ll be doing and how, started to elicit lesser excitement within me with each passing day.
When you’re young you’re filled with outrageous unwarranted amounts of self-confidence. You feel like you can do anything, the possibilities seem endless. And as a 20-year-old at the time, still unsure about my calling, I felt I needed to try out different things before settling on one. So when I had the offer to work in a big company which required me to move to a different country, though hesitant at first, I took the chance.
I travelled, I met people from different countries with different life stories. I spent time exploring and learning new things. And the more I learned about myself and about what made me feel fulfilled, the more lost I felt. Like, oh I am actually pretty good at my job, but I don’t necessarily enjoy doing it. It was a job I did well, but not something I saw myself making a career in.
So, there I was with a job that I didn’t quite enjoy. Now, don’t get me wrong, the lessons and experiences I had at my job were very valuable to me. But I knew that the fear of staying at a place that made me feel completely drained was far worse than the fear of not knowing what to do next. I decided to quit and reconnect with what I love doing - creating and learning.
The question “what do you want to be” begs to be answered. But it doesn’t take up as much brain space as it used to. I’ve come to realise that I will figure it out as long as I focus on “who do I want to be”.
Being open-minded
When I was given my offer letter, the first thought that had crossed my mind was “oh no, I’m going to have to move to a different country.” I was scared and unsure about moving to unfamiliar scenery. But I’m glad I didn’t let the fear of the unknown limit me.
Being open-minded leads us to discover so much more about the world, about others, about ourselves. In a world that has some 7 billion people, 195 countries, there is so much to be seen, to be experienced.
It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to be. There is benefit in curiosity and bewilderment. In a book written by journalist, David Eipstein “Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World”, Epstein said, people are better off exploring a variety of fields and approaches and braiding their knowledge to produce new solutions.
So go explore! Draw outside the lines until you find what you want to commit to, specialise in.
Having value systems
Moving to a different country, required me to sacrifice the familiarity and comfort of my family and friends. But it was a sacrifice I was willing to make for new experiences.
You have to be aware of your sacrifices and you have to be the one who picks them. If you’re not aware of your sacrifices and you let other people choose them for you, you lose control over your happiness, your satisfaction and fulfilment.
Realise your values, what you stand for, in order to not be sucked into doing something which would cause resentment. Only when you are in control can you be truly fulfilled with the outcome.
Being Authentic
Throughout my life, I have had family, friends and relatives tell me what they thought I should do with my life. They had good intentions of course. It’s just that I could never get very excited about other people’s ambitions for my life.
Say what you have to say, do what you want to do. Understand in order to be understood. An environment where everyone is allowed to authentically and unapologetically be themselves is where people prosper. Isn’t that what leads to fulfilment? Having been seen and heard for who you truly are.
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What are my ambitions in life? Well, the answer is not so much in wanting to be a doctor, an engineer, a chartered accountant or any other fanciful designation anymore. What you do doesn’t define happiness and contentment as much as how you do it and who is the person you become in the process.
Recommendations : Read ‘The Alchemist’ to get you thinking about destiny and your life purpose. Or watch the Studio Ghilbi movie ‘Spirited Away’ to uncover the magic that lies beyond our fears.
